Debrina and Lavve – I'm so happy. I've got my son back
- Lavve was just 7 years old when his dad died. His behaviour at school and at home deteriorated rapidly and his mother Debrina struggled to cope.
- Lavve’s school introduced the family to Chance UK, an early intervention charity that works with children aged 5 to 11 with behavioural difficulties.
- Chance UK matched Lavve to a suitable mentor, who shared his interests and took him on days out.
- Lavve’s confidence grew and in time he began to open up about his emotions surrounding his dad’s death.
- Lavve’s behaviour is now back to normal and is he is enjoying school again.
- Debrina's video
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Lavve was seven years old when his dad was diagnosed with cancer. He died just one month later in October 2008, leaving Lavve's pregnant mother, Debrina, struggling to cope with her son alone.
Both Debrina and Lavve's teacher noticed a dramatic change in him. He wasn't interested in his schoolwork, his bad behaviour grew to disruptive levels and he stopped playing with toys and other children.
Building self-esteem
The school suggested that Lavve might benefit from having a mentor through Chance UK, an early intervention charity that prevents crime and anti-social behaviour by working with children aged 5 to11 with behavioural difficulties. Chance UK mentors work to build a child's self-esteem so that their confidence, education and family life all change for the better.
"When we lost Lavve's dad, I also lost my son," said Debrina. "Things were really bad. He was withdrawing, he wasn't interested in playing and I would find him in his room crying. It was affecting his schoolwork and behaviour there too. I was three months pregnant, I was so scared and I was very depressed. It worried me that my feelings were affecting Lavve as well."
In January 2009, Debrina spoke to Chance UK's team in Hackney, who worked with her and Lavve to draw up a wish list for the ideal mentor. Lavve wanted someone who liked football and art.
Talk about feelings
Debrina wanted someone who would be able to get Lavve to talk about his feelings, which he refused to do with her. Debrina also wanted a mentor who would be able to take Lavve out to have fun for the day, which she was unable to do with a new baby on the way.
In November 2009, Lavve was paired with his mentor Janan. He would take Lavve for a day out swimming or to museums one weekend, and spend time with him to talk about feelings and do homework the next.
"It took a while to find Lavve's mentor," said Debrina. "But I'm glad it did because he has the best mentor in the world. They went on some brilliant days out which meant so much because I wasn't able to do that with the new baby. Janan was fantastic because he got Lavve to open up about his feelings too."
I've got my son back
Lavve said: "I was scared at the beginning but now because Janan is my friend I feel a lot safer and happier. Janan has taken me to go swimming, we did rowing in the park and we went to the Emirates Stadium to see where my team, Arsenal, plays. School is really good, my favourite things are maths and art. The thing I've improved on most is my behaviour."
Lavve graduated from Chance UK in a celebratory ceremony in December 2011. It was an opportunity for everyone to reflect on the progress Lavve has made and the skills he has developed to help him overcome challenges in life.
Debrina adds: "I can't imagine what would have happened to Lavve without Chance UK – I thought I was losing him. Because of Chance UK and Janan, Lavve is happy and always smiling, and I'm in a better place. I've got my son back."
